I’ve sailed several seas aboard colossal cruise ships and each time - whether with a friend, my entire family and as a solo traveler - I was the first in line to disembark at the end of the trip. I could pop a Xanex and still shove elderly people and toddlers out of my way to get off of the massive can. I didn’t like the manufactured “fun,” the endless eats (honestly, after awhile, all you can sense is a change in texture and how can they safely prepare continuous meals for 3,000?); the tee-shirt and tchocke hawkers salivating at the sight of sunburnt tourists waddling down the gangway in each successive port; the dicey and expensive internet connections; and generally having to follow a schedule, kind of like high school, with a port of call serving as the proverbial adolescent lunch hour getaway. 

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